Dear Diary,

My mom got a new puppy. We don't need a puppy. We already have a golden that is more puppy than any six people could possibly know what to do with. But he will be 2 years old next month and is settling into being decent to be around so apparently it was the perfect time to introduce a new little terror into the house. Better dogs than grandchildren. The thought of babies scares me tremendously even though I know I'll want some someday. But anyway that is not what this story is about. So we have a new puppy. He is 9 weeks old and black all over except for a little line of white on his chest. He is a cocker spaniel and has the softest puppy fur I've ever felt. He is a very needy child and cry whenever you leave him. So he sleeps in bed with mom and dad every night and the longest they've left him alone in 2 weeks is about 2 hours - which was very traumatic for him I'm sure. His name is Zeke. He really doesn't like the big dog, he screams a high pitch howl whenever they are in the same room. Oh and he bites toes, and ears and his sharp little teeth hurt alot. he bit me in the face and made me bleed - true story. But I like him anyway and wish I could have a puppy live with me.

Dear Diary

People are taking up the couch and I'm sitting on the hard wooden chair writing in my blog. Oh sad sadness. It's technically my couch right now. Frown.

Dear Diary,

Have you ever missed someone so much that it just physically hurt?

Dear Diary,

106 lines oh yes my life goal is complete! Tetris, I own you!!! (maniacal laughter ensues)

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today I was talking to my girlfriend and then an evil spirit stole her and turned me into a wolf. Then I was imprisoned, met a princess, and brought light back to the world. Still haven't gotten my girlfriend back. Well to be honest I guess she isn't my girlfriend but I'm pretty sure I want her. Oh and this kid has a little boy crush on me, it's weird. Oh I also saved 5 monkeys. Did I mention I was playing Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess? I guess that's an important detail to this story. I also drew a cube and 6 cylinders in autocad, it took 2 hours. I must be retarded.

The End.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I'm a loser and have nothing to do so I impulsively check my email and facebook every 16 minutes to see if anyone exciting has emailed, or messaged me. Then when no one has I get sad and write about it on my blog. True story.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

This is my first post, obviously. And this first post serves as a warning to all that might read this, which is most likely to be only one person, at least for awhile. The vast majority of what will be posted on this page is fictional, let's say 83% of it. The other 17% may only be true from a certain point of view. Also I make no promises on correct spelling, punctuation or anything of the sort, and all commas are sure to be used inappropriately. So that is the one and only warning on the subject. Other important info, this blog is meant to be hilarious so laugh. Also every entry will likely start with Dear Diary for no particular reason. Tada